"We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands." ~ Anonymous.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Our Site Explained

It was brought to my attention that perhaps our site is a little confusing or misleading and I thought I'd try to clear things up.

In the center text area, you will find posts, pictures and any other ramblings I decide to include. This is my spot to just kind of open up, let my feelings/frustrations out and let you all know if there is anything new or exciting going on. These posts are arranged newest first, down to oldest and you can navigate to older posts using the Blog Archive to the right.

Along the right hand side you can a variety of great things. There is a poll you can vote in, links to Kyrgyzstan information, some other great blogs to check out, links to various adoption-related sites and links to exciting fundraisers we are currently conducting.

Please keep in mind that any fundraisers you choose to participate in provide a percentage of sales directly to our adoption fund. You may also visit our mall (see the link at the bottom of the page). The way the mall works is that anything you purchase from any store through our mall link nets a percentage directly into our adoption fund. Just about any store you could ever want is available in our mall and many times online orders can be shipped to the store nearest you for no charge, saving you shipping costs.

Lastly, if you or someone you know is interested in making a direct monetary contribution, it can be done through the "Chip In" button located to the right. Those of you that know me know that asking for money is not something I would normally be able to bring myself to do. The mere thought of it, makes me cringe. However, this is something I believe in with the deepest part of my heart and soul and therefore, I am humbly asking if you are able and feel compelled to donate to a cause, that you consider donating to our cause this year. We currently have just under half of what we need to reach our goal and must raise about $24,000.00 more. Please remember that the money we raise does not go to us, it is not profit, every penny helps and every penny we raise goes directly toward bringing another child out of poverty and into a better life.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Adoption News

Hmmm.....I wish there was some. This is a very difficult time for me as there is nothing we can currently do but wait. All those helpless feelings I had little more than a year ago are flooding back to join the already existing anxiety and fear that I feel. Fear that we will not "get in" before our agency's program closes to new applicants. Anxiety about who our child will be. Fear that we will never be able to raise the money we need to bring our baby home. Anxiety about what type of special need our child will have and whether I am really as prepared to handle it as I think I am.

We have notified both of our agencies that we are beginning the process again and for now, that is all we can do. In March, when our social worker visits to complete our final post placement report for E, she will also complete a new homestudy that we will use for LP's adoption. We are stuck right now, unable to file our formal application for the Kyrgyzstan program because that, like everything, costs money - money we just don't have right now. It makes me feel a little hopeless - if we don't even have the money to get started, how on Earth are we ever going to have the money to finish? Our taxes are sitting at the accountant waiting to be done and filed and as soon as we get our refund, we will file that formal application and get the ball rolling.

I shopped today and while I stood in the checkout examining every single (generic) item I purchased, wondering if I got the best deal I possibly could, digging through my coupon sorter to find just another 25 cents off, I looked around and noticed that so many people were buying so much "stuff" - a flat screen TV, name brand shampoo, expensive diapers, "stuff" that I wouldn't have thought twice about buying before and now could not possibly bring myself to indulge in. I'm ashamed to admit that I do envy people at times. Coworkers who take nice vacations, friends who buy the biggest and best new electronic gadgets, strangers who drive nice cars; but then, I go home - to my son and my husband and we sit down over yet another delicious and very inexpensive casserole I've concocted and we talk and laugh and truly enjoy each other. It is then that I am reminded again that it does not matter WHAT we have around us, it matters WHO we have around us. So, I will persevere, I will continue to remind myself that this feeling of helplessness and urgency will be the furthest thing from my mind when we reach our next destination and have our child in our arms.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A Little Winter Cuteness

My two favorite boys

Stuck in the snow

E's imitation of Ralphie from "A Christmas Story"

The snow was too deep to sled anywhere but in the driveway and yes, at I was at end to catch him so he didn't go flying into the road.

The face that makes me melt

Saturday, February 9, 2008


Someone asked me the other day how it feels to wonder if your child is "out there" somewhere and how we handled waiting to bring E home once we had a name and face to associate to the little person that would become our son. I never really know what to say to things like that, especially to people that I don't have an intimate, personal relationship with. But, the truth is, I think about it every single day. The wait is hard enough, it's so frustrating and so difficult to know that your future and the future of your family hinges upon so many things that you cannot control. But now, having "been there, done that", I am finding it much, much harder than before to maintain any kind of emotional distance. Now that I have experienced the miracle that is adoption, now that I have been completely consumed by love for my son it absolutely breaks my heart to think about him having ever felt lonely, scared, unwanted or unloved. While I know that he probably has no active memory of his life before us, it still hurts to not know what he went through or how he felt. It hurts that I could not be there to hug, kiss and love him for that whole first year of his life. It makes it much harder this time around to know that our child, who quite possibly may already be born could be feeling some of those things. I worry, too, that because LP will have special needs that he or she has been shunned and left very much alone. Logically, I know this is probably not the case because I have been to the orphanage and witnessed the caregivers interact with the children - there is true compassion and love; but, at the same time, there are so many children that their time with each child is cut very short and the resources just are not available to provide extra special care to children that may need it.

Those of us who have kids know what goes into taking care of them and providing for them. Think about every single thing you do in an evening with your child, no matter how small and imagine not doing it. Imagine not knowing if you child had enough to eat or if they are feeling hunger pains. Imagine not knowing if they are wet or cold or sick. Imagine placing your child in a crib and walking away without just one more kiss and hug, one more "I love you". One of the great lessons learned through this process is never take anything for granted. I cherish every single smile and hug I get from little E and long for the day I can experience that with LP.